Take a gander around their blog and you’ll realize, like I have, that Ali and Evan may in fact be the CUTEST. PEOPLE. EVER.  More adorable than a box of puppies going to good homes or a newborn baby who never poops.  You can imagine how bad I feel that I can’t go visit them WHEN THEY REOPEN WEDNESDAY to give them hugs, wish them well, and most importantly, buy everything I can possibly afford.  You know why they’re the cutest?  Because in the midst of this, they still write odes of devotion to each other.  Witness Ali’s latest ode to Evan:

The above declaration is true: The cafe will be open tomorrow because of Evan. Sure, we all pitched in today, several of us for several hours in fact. There was even a plumber in there, finishing the last of the repair work. But at the end of the day, we all went home. All of us except Evan. He has accepted the fate of not sleeping tonight to make sure he can do everything possible so that we may open our doors tomorrow morning. He went to the cafe around 6am this morning and from what I’ve been able to gather from him, he will not be returning this evening. When I spoke with him last he informed me he is re-installing shelves, cooking fig jam, processing apple butter, and assembling a strata. This all after a day of financial advisory, lawyer talks, employee briefs, insurance debacles, and seemingly endless sweeping, dusting, washing, clearing, moving, and hauling. So that’s why the cafe’s reopening tomorrow actually owes itself to the tireless dedication of Evan, and Evan alone.

The world may not be completely fair, but good people can’t allow Ali and Evan to fail.  They work too hard, and they’re just so gosh darn swell.  Everyone in Portland, make it a top priority to visit them as soon as possible, as often as possible, because they’re awesome, their food is awesome (eat the strata. EAT IT), and they probably should be crowned King and Queen of Portland, because it’s people like them that make Portland the best city in America.

Little Red Bike Cafe
4823 N. Lombard
Portland, Oregon 97203
Tuesday-Sunday
8am-2pm
503-289-0120

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I’ve already seen some amazing feats of architecture, had a cabbie fall asleep at the wheel, eaten my first dumplings and joined up with the Shanghai twitterverse.  We’re in temporary housing and it’s much colder than I anticipated (the housing AND the weather).  Our bastard international movers packed all our guidebooks and phrasebooks when we weren’t looking, so our first weekend has been dedicated to replacing them, which is a bit like trying to cook one-handed (I have some experience with that).

And PDXers, don’t believe for a minute I won’t be watching: I still hope to watch and blog all the Timbers matches via USLLive, and we hope to visit at least once or twice this year.

For a little plumbing, all posts regarding Portland will be added to the Stumptown category, and the new Shanghai category will hold all the new stuff I write about here, until I rename it for a cheeky nickname, as that would be needless but funny.

In closing, Shanghai people, Howdy!  There’s a new gunslinger in town, hat and bolo tie at the ready.  I will eat my way through this city with vigor and aplomb.  I eagerly accept recommendations.  I will root for your football team and learn Mandarin as fast as I can.

To PDX peeps, keep my seat warm, and do your part to drink my share of the beer.  Keep Obama honest and don’t let any of my favorite restaurants close.  I’ll be seeing y’all later, bitches.

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Barney Gumble: 40 dollars!? This better be the best damn beer ever.. [drinks beer] You got lucky. 

I could leave it here, my opinion of Lincoln, a newish restaurant on N Williams.  The food is straight forward–almost to a fault–and excellently prepared from fantastic ingredients.  But damn, that seemed expensive.  

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Continue reading Lincoln Restaurant gets lucky

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Rogue’s lawyer requested a retraction of the initial report at BrewPublic, but the information they refute is in conflict with information I heard directly from two current Green Dragon Employees.  I don’t need the Attorney General of Rogue Nation crawling up my ass about it, but suffice to say that if the Rogue organization is correct in their specific refutations of the initial report, they’re sure as hell not telling the employees what’s going on.

Nothing is completely final, as minority owner Lolo Bruns wasn’t in on the deal with Rogue and may have an opportunity to make a counter-offer.

sad news for all.

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November 15th, 2008: Distillers’ Row Open House

Join New Deal Distillery and Oregon Bounty to discover the innerworkings of Portland’s first vodka distillery and learn more about craft-distilling in Oregon. We’ll have distillery tours, treats from Meat Cheese Bread and Saint Cupcake, and, of course, spirits sampling.

The Open House is this Saturday from 1 to 5 PM at their distillery. Catering is from their (and my) friend John from Meat Cheese Bread (covered previously here). I’m planning on attending, and will follow up with pictures taken by someone else, as is my way. It should be a good time.

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Blitz Ladd is the new Eastside outpost of everyone’s favorite sub-species of Pearl Rat, the aging fratboy. I’ve never been to the Pearl location (at 110 NW 10th Avenue, (503) 222-2229 but I’m sure that it’s not quite the place that I’d spend much time.

Blitz Ladd’s sign first went up nearly a year ago (originally Biltz East) with paper on the windows about 5 months after that. I’m not quite sure when they opened, but I spotted it, lights on and TVs a flickering on Columbus Day. I stopped in on Thursday to watch an MLS game and keep my eyes on what I thought would be the Red Sox demise in the ALCS. The Space is huge, easily 5,000+ square feet, with numerous pool tables, shuffle board and more TVs than necessary, including a very large projection set up in the back. The booths and tables are made from oriented strand-board protected with heavy layers of sealant, which gives the place a quasi-unfinished look from afar, but the effect up close is unique and saves the otherwise bland space from utter visual mediocrity.

They have a bunch of beers on tap, with the standard sports bar fare, but a wide range of microbrews from around the PNW and california. Nothing groundbreaking, but respectable. They also have those ridiculous aluminum ‘bottles’ of Budweiser.  They have a full bar, but no menu of ridiculous drinks that I saw.  The happy hour (4-6:30) deals are acceptable: $3 well drinks, draft beer and wine. I’m not sure what ‘wine’ means there, but I don’t plan on figuring it out.

The menu is straight up standard Sports Bar fare, with several burger options, plentiful fried food, a few salads and ‘flat bread’ pizzas.  The place was relatively empty during my time there, so I didn’t witness any pizzas coming out of the kitchen to give any enlightenment to what ‘flat bread’ means in this case.

I’m not sure how Blitz Ladd will fare.  It is rather average, but nearly all sports bars are.  Blitz has more class and 10000% more windows than the nearby Jolly Roger, and is non-smoking, which gets it out in front of Claudia’s further east.  For me, however, I doubt I’ll be back until I have competing sporting events to watch.

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Photo courtesy of Mile73.com

I met the Artisan Spirits Public Relations team at the Great American Distillers Festival in august, when Liz and Dan were in town doing their best to train for their Snake Whiskey future in the Far East. They stuck out for me for two reasons: first, their PR people were both quite cute and very well prepared, in contrast with the kilted volunteers around the room and the bearded distillers who were not quite easy on the eyes, and secondly, the Artisan Spirits vodkas were by far the most esoteric offerings at the festival. Vodka made from wine?  Vodka made from mead made from raspberry honey? Ridiculous!

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Continue reading Artisan Spirits Open House

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Ken Forkish likes dough, and Ken’s Artisan Pizza makes a lot of dough in every sense of the phrase. I checked it out on a Thursday night in January, again weeks later for my last two handed meal before the unpleasantness. I returned after a long absence on a recent Saturday for a nice late night meal.

Ken’s is in a newish building on 28th and SE Pine that they share with Masu East (soon to be re-invented as Bamboo Sushi). The space is pleasant: white walls, blonde wood counters and tables constructed from timber salvaged from a Jantzen Beach roller coaster, and a wood fired oven that truly dominates the room. The wait can be intense at peak hours, but the bar turns over relatively quickly for a tandem eating crew.

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Continue reading Ken’s Artisan Pizza — making lots of dough

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Hawthorne certainly has changed since I first moved to Portland. ‘Twas once the highest concentration of hippies in portland — there were four head shops and you could see each of the others from the front door of any — until housing prices started going up and Hawthorne got all yuppified and shit.

I was recently standing in front of Pastaworks/Evoe, and I detected not one iota of patchouli in the air. Refreshing!
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Meat Cheese Bread is nestled between some edgy shop and the Thai Thai branch that hasn’t had a customer since 1989, just east of the Vegan Mall. I recall seeing the paper on the windows and some vague rumor about the spot months ago, but they opened quietly about two weeks ago. They have Stumpy’s coffee, Wifi, and one of those menus that is not unlike the Little Red Bike Cafe: you want to order everything at once, right now.

I had the breakfast burrito. It’s not gargantuan, it’s more suitable for functional eating, like something I might make myself if I weren’t a lazy ass, not the size of a small child burritos you get at breakfast places or taco trucks. The Green Chile Salsa was acidic and a little spicy, the eggs were soft and the hashbrowns crunchy. As a bonus, the tortilla resembled a real tortilla, not a sun-dried tomato and pest-oh my god the tortilla gods will strike me down tortilla. I could (and might) eat one of these several times a week. Totally fair portion and price.

I will type up the menu for the internets, because this place would dearly appreciate your hug business.
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Continue reading Meat Cheese Bread

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